There are times when you find yourself doing this:
You know that something in your life isn’t right, but you simply do not touch it. You do not move it, you don’t change it.
Work doesn’t make you happy. The atmosphere is getting on your nerves. Your effort goes unnoticed.
The relationship seems like it’s done, but it’s still there at least on paper conversations are repeating, your heart is not in the room really.
Same apps, same ones, same complaints…
And you still hold the view: For now, it’s fine like this.
This phrase for now, it’s fine is what psychologists call status quo bias.
It is a tendency to simply prefer whatever it is at the moment.
Let me be clear: This is not a good thing called stability.
More than often, it is simply a chiropractor that chooses a familiar pain over an unfamiliar gaining.
Why does the mind love the old order?
Because the mind is not always a lover of truth it is a manager of risk.
In fact, shall I say it more truthfully: There are times when the mind doesn’t even count the risk.
It just takes the fear of loss.
One of the main psychological mechanisms that drive this is: Loss aversion.
Loss aversion is that we experience losses more strongly than gains of the same amount.
Thus, when there is a new option, it is not what I might gain that sounds loudest,
but rather, what I might lose.
On that note, the inner monologue sets in:
* It may suck, but at least I’m familiar with it.
* Changing jobs might be a mistake; what if I regret it?
* The relationship isn’t going well, but I might be more miserable if I were alone.
* I feel trapped in this city… But what if I can’t establish myself anywhere else?
That doesn’t mean I deny the presence of reasoning here.
What I imply is that often the brain mistakes the known for being safe.
The contemporary analog: I’m actually living like a code.
Our modern day status quo bias has been intensified as nowadays, systems are really effective in teaching one thing:
You should keep silent and carry on.
The world around you is screaming to live in distraction and not engage with the deep questions of life.
But today is like that only if you let it to be.
You can make a shift, that’s the power of humans we have a power to disrupt our own habit loops and create new ones that better support the development of ourselves.
How about that as the next step for today?
The trap of I’ve invested so much.
At the same time, another thing that keeps us from changing the status quo is the:
sunk cost fallacy.
Essentially, the mind tells itself:
I made a lot of sacrifices to get here. If I quit now, all those sacrifices will be for nothing.
Instead, the reality is incredibly harsh:
Most of the time it’s actually the staying that is wasted it’s not the leaving.
Once you have invested in the past, your mind attempts to continue drawing the future from the same error that led you to the past.
It’s as if the mind were issuing you a psychological debt note: I must stay.
On a philosophical level, your past’s price tag should not be the one calling the shots for your future.
Even though a certain method has been in use for a long time, it does not necessarily mean that it is the right one.
Fear of responsibility: If I choose, then it’s my fault
In many cases, people cling tightly not only to what they already know,
but to what also feels emotionally safer.
Suppose you decide to change something in your life and things don’t go as planned, then a part of you might think: It’s your fault.
If you decide to stay however, the responsibility is less clear:
This is how the system works.
This is the way things are.
I was not really the one who made the decision.
Therefore, status quo bias may also serve as a kind of psychological insurance:
As long as I’m not the one making the choice, I can’t be the one to blame.
Still, here’s what’s really going on: Result of not choosing is also a choice.
And very often the most costly one.
Status quo bias in relationships: They don’t love me… But I’m used to it
In relationships, this bias is extremely clear it’s because people have a deep fear of being alone, uncertain, and that it takes a lot of energy to start over.
Therefore, they come up with lots of excuses for themselves such as:
This is how everyone is.
Is there really something better out there?
Anyway, at least they are not a bad person.
They are not cheating.
They are not abusing me.
They have not fully left.
Can you understand what is going on here?
The mind no longer uses happiness as the criterion.
Instead, it considers the lack of disaster as a standard.
If it’s not worse, I can tolerate it.
And that tolerance quietly shrinks your self worth.
The most silent kind of destruction is this: Lowering your life’s standards to survivable and calling it fate.
Status quo bias at work: It could be worse out there
In work life, this sentence is the most common:
I hate it here, but I guess it could be worse outside.
Perhaps.
However, quite often, this sentence is not a result of thorough research it’s just pure fear.
Here, status quo bias masks itself as being realistic.
These people don’t want to leave because they feel comfortable.
Because changing has three requirements:
1. Tolerating uncertainty
2. Learning new skills
3. Giving up some of your comfort for a short time
The brain has a firm no answer for all three.
Nevertheless, life at some point stops bargaining with the brain.
You either change by your own decision… Or you change because of circumstances.
So how can you get around it?
One thing helps a lot:
Is what I know really so bad…Or is what I don’t know going to be good?
But let’s make it even more precise.
Consider answering these four questions:
1. If I keep on doing exactly what I am doing now, who will I be six months from now?
2. What is this situation stealing from me my energy, my time, my self respect?
3. What are the things that scare me: Losing, being laughed at, feeling lonely, failing?
4. Even if the worst happens, am I capable of rebuilding myself?
These questions do not imply ‘Make up your mind now.’
They’re just there to help you get rid of the haze.
The reason why status quo bias dwells in haze is that…
It becomes weaker when the situation is clear.
Sometimes the existing order is a prison
The truth that philosophy is struggling with:
People tend to get attached to their chains because chains are what they are used to.
But being used to doesn’t necessarily mean that something is true.
Maybe being used to something just means… That it has been around for a long time.
Status quo bias is basically the survival instinct of the brain suppressing the need to live.
You only survive, but you don’t really live.
The days go by but you remain where you are.
So put this somewhere visible:
If my current life isn’t my teacher, it is my oppressor.
That’s the whole point.