Some individuals spend a lifetime fighting a battle to be understood.
They wish the sentences they utter would be more clearly understood.
They modulate their tone. They try to explain. They keep cool. They talk in a more logical way. They use softer words.
They write with greater clarity. They give more explanations.
And yet: It continues to fail.
Because, in some situations, the issue is not that you do not express yourself well. The issue is they do not want to hear you.
Some ears are only meant for their own voice. Some minds are just a reflection of what they already believe.
Some hearts are disconnected from your reality and are focused on their need for control.
And this is where the biggest mistake starts. You first try to fix yourself. You alter your language.
You alter your manner. You alter your silence. You even alter your dreams.
Only to be understood.
However, there is something that no one tells you. Being understood seems like a right, but it is not everywhere possible. Not every place can accommodate your truth.
Some people cannot understand you. Because understanding you would be exposing their own failures.
Some people cannot understand you. Because understanding you would be ruining the cosy world they have constructed. Some people cannot understand you.
Because understanding you would result in them losing control over you.
Then this is what you do: You talk. You explain. You clarify. And they simply do not hear you… They listen in order to find your faults.
They seize on one word. They look for a certain tone. They try to catch a certain facial expression. Then you become the character in their own story.
And it is as if you are a stranger in your own life.
This is where people get exhausted. For the truth of it is, deep down, the issue is not just communication. It is about showing one’s existence.
I am here. I have a world too. I also have intentions. I also have a heart.
Yet there are some places that do not even acknowledge your presence.
Suddenly you realize that the place where you struggle to be understood is in fact diminishing your value.
Because, the one who continually provides explanations, eventually loses their position.
The one who continually proves their ability to do something, slowly starts doubting themselves.
The one who is constantly asking for approval finally stops listening to their inner voice.
There are several reasons why people get used to talking to a wall.
And the reality is, some walls will always stay unbroken. Some doors will never open. Some minds will not seek for contact.
It is not a failure of yours. It is only that one being not the right place.
One thing that we need to realize is that there is a limit to explaining ourselves. Either you keep explaining and eventually disappear into nothing.
Or one day you just stop and say to yourself: No more explaining shall be done by me. I am making a choice.
Choosing is not leaving but self-demanding. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. You should not give your story to everyone.
You do not have to prove to anyone what your intentions are.
There are times when the best response is not more talking, but stepping back.
Because when you stop explaining yourself to certain people, you reconnect with your energy. You come back to yourself. Even silence can be your words.
You realize the fact that I was right, but it was the wrong place.
That’s the point. The greatest loss is tiring oneself on the wrong people.
Explaining yourself to someone with no will to understand is like watering soil that cannot grow. However much you pour, it will not bloom…
Because the soil does not need water. The soil awaits you to stop watering it.
So one of life’s lessons is that sometimes you won’t be able to win by merely explaining yourself. You win if you choose yourself.
Take a deep look at the situations you struggle for being understood. What kind of environment turns your words into the statement of your defense?
Who is the person with whom you always have to change yourself? Where are you misunderstood immediately you behave normally?
With whom things that you say very briefly inevitably turn you into the apponent of the debate?
Track the place.
Then ask that question: Do I live here in order to be understood or am I suppressing my truth just to survive?
If it’s the right place, you wouldn’t have to struggle so much to be understood. In the right place, your words will never be a defense, but a simple sharing.
In the right place, you do not have to prove yourself. You simply exist.
Then you comprehend. Being understood is not a result of effort. It is a matter of harmony. If there is no harmony, the struggle only prolongs the inevitable drowning.
Locate a place where you don’t need to struggle to be understood. That’s your place.