Most people are not honest they’ve just learned how to stay silent.
Your perception is that most people lie to you.
Yet, the fact is, most people don’t lie at all.
They just avoid giving the truth.
And those are quite different things.
People, at times, are only pretending to be transparent. They laugh, they nod, they utter “I’m fine, “ they assure “it’s okay.” Even though, an entirely different, hidden dialogue is taking place internally.
And that hidden dialogue will never be conveyed to you.
Your lesser worry should be people telling you the actual story
Only scare of its ramifications is what troubles them.
Causing someone pain. Getting misunderstood. Being rejected. Coming across as weak…
Above all: Exposing their true self.
Working of the Silent Mind
There are two stages of functioning of the human mind:
The spoken words
The unsaid words
Most of the time people don’t realize that their relationships actually exist in the second stage.
If a friend says you everything is fine to plea for silence…
Then, as a friend convinced, is it really fine?
When someone smiles at you casually, do you take it as a sign that they really care about you?
Or is it just a social reflex?
People trick themselves into dissembling their genuine feelings.
Because the truth sometimes becomes painful to receive.
So what do they do?
They actually start behaving in this manner:
Instead of being truthful and open, they opt to maintain the status quo.
Most Harmful Aspect: Silence
Nothing in most cases is a threat to love and friendship than the words not uttered.
It is pretty much the silence.
Unspoken words. Hiding feelings. Not explaining the dissatisfaction…
Day after day, they add up silently.
Until one day…
They unfold abruptly, in the least expected moment.
Then people exclaim: I never, ever thought that it was like this.
In fact, the evidence was there all along
It was only not perceived.
Why don’t we talk honestly?
Because being truthful exposes us.
And most people are afraid to be exposed.
Truthfulness goes beyond just telling the facts.
It means being willing to accept the repercussions.
And that is not something everyone can do.
Therefore, people do this: They mask what they feel
They censor what they think
They delay coming out with the truth
And at last… They turn into strangers of their own selves.
Fact is:
Many aspects of your life are influenced not so much by what is expressed to you…
Rather by what is kept unsaid.
A glance. A quietness. An incomplete utterance…
These often convey more than words ever could.
However, if you don’t have the skill to listen…
You won’t catch any of it.
People won’t say the truth directly.
But if you watch closely…
they always give you a sense of it.